That song was in my head this morning at church as I glanced over at friends of ours who are expecting their first child. Her hand is over her stomach, protectively, and they are beaming. The kind of people you cant help but adore and beam back at. All is well.
In the same row is another couple that I don't know yet, but know that they have tried for years to have children, they have one baby in Heaven, but not one to hold. She is closing her eyes in worship as we sing and I am in awe. All is well.
I glance down at my stomach. Our second little baby is taking its merry time showing, after four months and days of sickness you'd think I'd have more to show for it, but this little Turnip seems to be comfortable in it's hiding place. I think of our Regen, and I tell her I love her, something that is immediate now, this talking to my daughter whom I don't know. All is well.
And it is. Because two thousand years ago the Light came to this world, as a baby. And even though I don't understand the sorrow that grips every single one of us who breathe here on earth, somehow, all is well. I will see Regen one day because of that baby and His sacrifice. And this child growing inside of me, this one whom I expect to hold, he or she will live with the hope that I am still in awe of, because of that baby. One day there will be no more orphans, no more bad guys, no more death. And this, right now, that you are living through, breathing through, this pain or hurt you deal with that is choking you? That baby grew to be a man and took the world on His shoulders. I have seen the Carpenter in the darkest pit, been held by Him through the ripping apart.
All is well, because of Jesus. So I sing it, very loud when I am at home, and very loud in my Carrie Underwood voice when you see me grocery shopping.
And I simply want you to know, I think, that no matter how dark your Christmas season, that little baby, the one who grew into a Lion, He's got this. He conquered death after all. And all is well.
This is beautiful, Rachael, in so many ways. Congratulations and much love.
ReplyDeleteOh He’s done it again! Together, you’ve done it again sweet Rachael. Poignant and pure, transparent and TRUE: focused on the Jesus who came to save and does just that.
ReplyDeleteLove reading your blog, dear friend.
The window to your heart is freshly washed and it’s a privilege to peer inside.
Can’t wait to hear more about your thought and emotional processes during this pregnancy. Regan’s little bro/sis must be loving their wee bedwomb but I’m so eager to witness you as a Mommy {on the other side of then womb} and to watch our sweet babes play together {and someday marry since I think you’re carrying another daughter}
Until then, know that BC holds another friend who is lifting you up to our gracious God, thanking Him, asking Him for protection and peace for you, and singing along to the same worshipful songs... I’ll harmonize and you do the melody first, then we’ll switch k?
Come visit the promised land of BC soon alright already?!
Miss you guys.