Complacency

"How did I get here again? Didn't I just leave?

I TOLD YOU I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE.

Please, bring me back. Hello? Hello?! I know you're there, I can hear you. Why can't I understand you? I said I needed your help but not here. Please not here. It's cold, it's dark, and I'm all alone.

Will I ever escape? I don't remember how I did it last time, did I push down the walls? Did I run?
Think. Why did I end up here again?

Oh. Oh no. No please. I want to forget. Hello? Why can't you just talk to me? I know you can help, you could make this go away. It would be easier than breathing. I can't do it on my own. I don't want to even move. I was so happy before, for a little while. Wasn't I?

...No, it was complacency that I felt. But I was starting to feel better, I was starting to smile, to think of other things. I even laughed. Really laughed. Do I have to fake that again? I know in You I have freedom, but bondage is sometimes easier to bear.

Did you hear that? Do you hear me? What's happened to me?

I used to be so free, so protected. I used to go to sleep at night knowing I was safe, knowing I had no burdens to bear. Do you remember me twirling in my living room dressed all in pink, pretending I was a ballerina? Dancing. But I wanted to grow up, I wanted to leave home. Could you bring me back there? I could be a child forever.
But no, I can't.

Can you at least make me complacent again? I don't like this. I don't want to feel. I messed up I know but I don't know any other way. You're too perfect. I'm too messy. I'm sorry."


Suddenly the girl awoke, she looked around her and realized she was in a ballroom. A huge ballroom with golds, greens, blues and purples surrounding her in pictures on the wall. Her ears caught a familiar sound and she could faintly hear music playing all around her. She turned to go, knowing that this was no place for her, for a sinner. But a breeze opened the door, holding her in place. There He was, blocking the doorway. "NO!" she cried. "I told you, I don't want to feel!"
He didn't move, but a slow grin spread upon His face as he held out His hand. He waited. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five seconds was all it took for her hand to reach his. She held her head down, ashamed and He gently pushed her chin up until she was looking into His eyes. Eyes she knew and loved. All she saw was love. He held her close and as they moved, the music once faint grew and grew. She knew this song, it was their song. How could she have forgotten? This is where she belonged.
"Will I leave again?" She whispered
Instead of answering, He held her closer and said "I will always find you."