How Can I Not?

I am so excited today and have to write all about it! A few months ago I decided to say yes and take a scary step which meant standing in front of my church (which my Husband does all the time, but not me) and stand up for the helpless and hurting in our world. I am involved with Compassion International as in I have sponsored two different girls since I was 17. I love this ministry and was able to go on a missions trip back in 2006 to the Dominican Republic with Compassion. We travelled to different "Projects" which are essentially schools where kids learn how to live and love, are given food, education, bibles. friends, laughter, hope and a future. They are given HOPE and a FUTURE. THEY ARE GIVEN A FUTURE. I can't emphasize that enough. Below is what I was able to tell my church about my experience with Compassion. Eight kids were sponsored this morning!!! Eight children now have (wait for it...) A HOPE AND A FUTURE. I can do nothing but praise God for His faithfulness! For it is nothing that I did, only HIM. He is the reason those kids will be jumping for joy in a few short days when they hear the news!

And I can't stop with this morning, I won't. Which is why I wanted to post this, in the hope that someone who reads will be touched by the hand of God, by His gentle whisper. Whether or not you already sponsor a child (Thank you if you do!). Here is a link to their website in Canada. http://www.compassion.ca/

Here is what I shakily said to my Church this morning:

Good morning!
I'm here to take part in a national event called Compassion Sunday. For the next few minutes, we will focus on the needs of children in the world and how we as a church family can take a small step that will make a big difference in these children's lives.

All you have to do is pick up any newspaper or turn on the TV to realize that children all around the world suffer the devastation of poverty. It is said that every five seconds a child dies from preventable diseases, dirty water, and malnutrition. Not to mention those that live with starvation looming over their heads and hunger following them wherever they go, those who are forced into the sex trade by their family thinking it will be better for them, or those who grow up with no parents, roaming the streets looking for food. Imagine not knowing that there is a God who loves you and has made a way for your eternal salvation. I know that the whole thing is so overwhelming that many people have no idea where to help, or how to start helping because they think- what can I do? I'm not going to fix world hunger. So they do nothing. No, you cannot change the world, but for every child sponsored, their world is changed. They now have hope.

Through Compassion's ministry, more than 1 million children are being given real help for today. They are given schooling, food, clothes, books, letters in the mail from their sponsor who loves and cares for them and more importantly, they are discovering how God has shown His love for them through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love Compassion's ministry because they have taken a scary stand and have the name of Jesus in their title "Releasing children from poverty in Jesus name." They have taken a lot of criticism for that from our world, but God is also blessing them ten fold because of it.
I'm not standing up here as someone who doesn't know what I'm talking about. When I was around 12, my parents went with Compassion on a missions trip. They went to the Dominican Republic and saw first hand what Compassion does. My Dad was holding a little baby boy one day and as he turned to hand the baby back to his mother, she put up her hands and said "No, you keep him. We can't feed him." Imagine. As a Mother, wanting so desperately for her child to live a healthy long life, knowing that through her it is impossible.
When I was in grade 12 my Parents took my younger brother and I back to the Dominican and my eyes were opened as I saw starvation for the first time in my life. A few months earlier I had told my Dad that I really wanted to get a cell phone and could finally pay for one. He looked at me and said, you know, it's less expensive to sponsor a child. I frowned at him knowing full well that he had me and there was no way I was going to spend money on a cell phone instead of save a little girls life. Her name was Darianni Lorenzo and I was able to meet her. As she shyly hugged me back and I tried my best to say things like "Hola, Coma estas?" I watched as she slowly opened up to me and by the end of our visit was hugging me and we were talking to each other in completely different languages but understanding each other all the same. I had brought with me a backpack filled with things to give her and after she opened everything she turned to me and handed me a box of smarties that I had given her. I was speechless. To have nothing, and yet bless me with what she had just been given. While here I am, having everything and holding on to it all.

If God is speaking to your heart today about changing a child's life, all it will cost you is $41 a month. That's like a coffee a day at Tim Horton's, or 4 coffee's a month at Starbucks. I have 14 child packs in the back and pray that all 14 of them are taken. Jordan and I have decided to sponsor one more child because when you have seen a need so great, how can you not do something? I have no other answer than that for you, how can I not?
Thank you so much for your time. God bless!

I tried to upload a video but it was taking too long! If you would like to watch one go to this link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PorUJM8O_lI&feature=related

Hello, I'm afraid.

Our first surfing lesson right before we "hit the waves"!
Saying goodbye to my Grandpa Callaway, I didn't leave that coffin till I had to.
Saying my testimony in front of my church and getting baptised the same day as my brother!

This is right before I "ran" with a horse for the first time! I held onto the horn and the back of the saddle the whole time and laughed like a crazy woman.

It took me 20 minutes to jump into this water from a high ledge. OK, so the ledge was only about 20 feet from the water.

Hours after my wisdom teeth were taken from me! I looked like this for a week.

I travelled alone across the ocean, lived in Europe for a year and went to Capernwray Bible College in England and Austria. This is me in Greece when I went travelling with three other girls for a month.

On stage singing A Bushel and a Peck from "Guys and Dolls"

Right after I had Lazar eye surgery, I was blind for a few days and had to have a gorgeous man feed me. It was tough.

Climbing a mountain! This one was especially scary walking on a wire looking down at the huge drop off below!

Surfing in Oregon with my man, the waves were insane that day and I was just a little nervous.

Falling in love. Choosing to give my heart so someone to hold, never knowing what lies ahead.

Walking down the aisle with my Daddy, a dream in every girls heart!

Marriage. The most terrifying thing I have ever done.

"All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears--of falling, of the dark, of
lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club,
and of the words "Some Assembly Required."---- Dave Barry

"What are fear but voices airy?

Whispering harm where harm is not.

And deluding the unwary

Till the fatal blow is shot!"

-Wordsworth

Psalm 55:5

"Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me."

Fall is so short in Alberta! At the end of every October I reflect on that and actually wish I lived somewhere else, like Ontario (don't tell my husband), where the fall days stretch on and on with untold beauty! And then November hits, the air changes, I dig out our scarves and mittens, defrost the car in the morning and see people glancing up into the air like a reflex saying out loud- Is that snow?! Yes, panic is here, the fear of w...wwww....winnnnn...ter. I may be absolutely crazy, but I love it! Every year I can't wait for the first snow fall, when the world paints itself white. I have always darted outside all bundled up to laugh and jump in the falling flakes that bring the hope of Christmas.

Thoughts of Alberta in April are far from my mind, when people take to kicking the snow in hopes it will melt faster, all the while knowing it will stay like a headache till May at least.

Winter, I am dedicating this blog to you, I have been thinking long and hard about fear recently, this blog has taken me a few weeks to write, all because, as I told a friend, I'm too scared to post it!

This story is for my brother in law Josh, who keeps getting after me about my last story. Apparently I set a standard too high for any other man to beat when I posted in the last blog I wrote.

It was late and I was hungry, so I quietly got out of bed, turned the door knob and SQUEAK! My husband sat straight up and said "Hello?! WHO'S THERE??"

I jumped back on the bed and told him it was just me, and that everything is fine. He sank right back on the pillow and didn't remember a thing the next morning.

It got me thinking about fear, well, actually I had been thinking about fear way before then, ever since I realized that I am a very fearful person. Who me? Yes. Me. I might as well go around introducing myself as "Hello, I'm afraid."

The pictures above might seem random but they all have a common theme. They are all before, after and while I am doing something that absolutely terrifies me. I remember each instance, why I didn't give into my fear and who or what pushed me (sometimes literally) off the ledge.

God has been teaching me some important things lately as He always does when I listen!

1. I am fearful. (We have established this I think)

2. Yes, I am human, but it says in God's word that He has not given me a Spirit of fear, but of Power, of Love and of a sound mind. I think that's pretty clear don't you?

3. The only thing I need to fear is God. By fearing other, worldly things I am telling my Father that I don't trust or respect Him.

I have been telling God that I don't trust or respect Him. I hate it when He humbles me.

One of the songs that played during our wedding slide show was "Risk" by Paul Brandt. That song pretty much sums up our relationship. Here is the chorus:

"I'd rather burn with desire deep in my soul

And love like a fire that’s out of control

and laugh and dance and fall and chance and kiss.

I’d rather live my whole life with a sense of abandon

Squeeze every drop out no matter what happens.

And not wonder what I've missed

I’d rather risk."

I was called a gypsy a few months before Jordan came back into my life again. And it was true. I lived from year to year not thinking of what came next. Moved from place to place and took on every new opportunity, but I was TERRIFIED of commitment. Dating was the last thing that I thought of then because that might lead to marriage (collective gasp), and marriage is so...permanent! When Jordan asked me if he could be my first ever boyfriend, I said yes knowing that he was exactly what I needed and desired in a husband, but that didn't mean that I didn't freak out. I lost ten pounds, hardly ever slept, called my bestie Jordan Ann twelve times a day to ask her if I really should be doing this, was late for work twice which had never happened before and walked around the house aimlessly with no direction or thought.

And yet, I had such a peace that I know was from God. He gently would whisper to me that His ways are greater than my own, that He has a perfect plan for me and that it was finally my time after waiting, hoping and dreaming! God is the reason for the peace that I have in life. He is the reason I can walk away from my Grandfathers coffin and face life without his crazy grin. The reason I let that horse run the second time, holding on the right way this time as I trusted an animal and moved with his strong body feeling God's laughter resound with mine. And the reason I grabbed my fathers elbow with a confident smile and walked steadily down the aisle to the man waiting for me with tears running down his face.

I want to risk. I long to run through my life with my Savior with no fear because fear never comes from God!

It snowed last week in Trochu. People have stopped looking up nervously now that it has happened and we know more will come.

"Welcome winter!" I say as I stare into the falling snow. I will not fear what is to come because my God is with me!